Advice to youth 13 – 25
The age span 13 – 25 is a guess. Do what feels comfortable. Same with the items below -they don’t need to be done in any particular order.
Maturity
– Become aware of how mature you should be for your age. It affects everything.Take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), the Myers–Briggs TypeIndicator (MBTI) or similar proven tests – to learn how you tick.
– Use these along with periodic individual, group, and family therapy.
Your maturity affects:
– Your values – https://timelessissues.com/traditional-values-are-absolutely-basic/
– Your view of sex – https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens. We didn’t have sex-education. Do most anything to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
This happens 45% of the time in the U.S. 42% end in abortion, which can be best in the long run.
– Your idealism – cults, communes, radical religion or extreme groups, or in my case:
» AmeriCorps (timelessissues.com) – too dreamy
Other
– Avoid joining the military. I was in for six months full-time when you had to join. Waste compared to ‘the outside world’.
– Take interest tests. Follow your loves.
– Take the Stanford-Binet IQ test to be realistic about how hard college will be. No point in breaking your heart.
– Choose schools that teach practical skills. Much of college does not. Half the courses I was required to take in college were useless. All that for nothing. If you feel you have to get college degree or the equivalent, search for every possible shortcut: – alternatives to college – competency-based education – comprehensive tests for college credit – credit for job experience – credit for what you know – equivalency exams – micro degrees, etc. –
https://www.bing.com/search?q=alternatives+to+college&form=ANNTH1&refig=999d3a8968cb4ac3a6fb97e50dfd69d3&sp=-1&pq=alternatives+to+college&sc=8-23&qs=n&sk=&cvid=999d3a8968cb4ac3a6fb97e50dfd69d3.
I wish I’d had them. One such program in 018 was http://discoverpraxis.com/ . Another was
https://www.mikeroweworks.org/ [which I found hard to navigate and crude in parts].
https://www.mikeroweworks.org/ [which I found hard to navigate and crude in parts].
– Job hunting tips – https://www.generaladvice.org/job-hunting-tips/ The best ‘therapy’ I
ever got.
ever got.
The idea is to live in the real world. Idealism is not, parts of education are not, parts of religion are not, same with much of the government and the military when compared to the private sector like these and all other businesses:
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My video on all this – Advice to youth 13-25 – YouTube
More
As a former school bus driver, AmeriCorps-VISTA volunteer, teacher, social worker, political aide, landlord, as a senior, and probably agreeing with Mark Twain’s advice to youth, I continue:
If raised in an oppressive, overly strict family, you will read this as if taking on more heavy burdens to plod thru life, bowled over by these ideas as great weights. If raised in a sensible family, you’ll listen to the below and come out well. If raised in a family that has spoiled you, you won’t know what I’m talking about, or care- everyone owes you everything; why be responsible?
My youth was in the 50s. Those times were not as permissive. Students, teachers and principals dressed better.Teachers had more authority. We didn’t need security guards on campus. We didn’t have social promotion, easy scholarships, and student loans. People weren’t entitled to,extended unemployment benefits, medicaid, legal aid, rent subsidies, heat subsidies and easy access to disability. We didn’t go for counseling when the sun didn’t come out. Unskilled work wasn’t ‘menial’. It was a job you were glad to have and you took pride in it.
Background
You’re predestined in many ways by your family, neighborhood, and schools. You’ll be a lot like your folks or guardians and speak and think like your teenage friends.
Hopefully your parents can get you into good schools.
https://www.timelessissues.com/category/education/education-myths/
Teen years 13-20
Some adults feel they missed something in their youth and tend to live through you and fawn over you telling you you are the first to discover slang, the opposite sex, muscles, curves, music, rhythm, dances, styles, cars, sports, hanging out, cruising, being macho and feminine, discovering thrills, what’s ‘in and out`, first to have such energy, disagree with your folks, ‘rebel’, search for your identity, be in a ‘new’ era, discover hypocrisy, want ‘change’ … blah blah.
Some adults cater to you; they want you to buy their records, clothes, food, entertainment, magazines, movies, sports equipment, and join their cult, crusade, cause, religion and save the world.
Dynamics
-You feel invincible and know everything.
-Peer pressure is very strong and can help or hurt.
-You want freedom but not the responsibility that comes with it – especially if spoiled.
-You don’t have experience and you lack judgment. You need input from older people.
-Your folks should have raised you with traditional values. Then you would have listened when
-they and other adults told you about smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, lgbt, love, and cults.
-Peer pressure is very strong and can help or hurt.
-You want freedom but not the responsibility that comes with it – especially if spoiled.
-You don’t have experience and you lack judgment. You need input from older people.
-Your folks should have raised you with traditional values. Then you would have listened when
-they and other adults told you about smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, lgbt, love, and cults.
Other
Don’t fight – too much chance of permanent injury and lawsuits.
Don’t go to extremes over sports.
Some youth live by, through and for music – feeling it will cure the world. You’re often told rock and roll and fast dancing were new. Wrong – before them there was jitterbug, boogie woogie, the lindy, the charleston ….
You’re told the Beatles and folk singers changed the world.
They wish.Don’t try to be the most popular; your strengths may be in other areas. Play to your strengths.
Very important.
Don’t go to extremes over sports.
Some youth live by, through and for music – feeling it will cure the world. You’re often told rock and roll and fast dancing were new. Wrong – before them there was jitterbug, boogie woogie, the lindy, the charleston ….
You’re told the Beatles and folk singers changed the world.
They wish.Don’t try to be the most popular; your strengths may be in other areas. Play to your strengths.
Very important.
You’re first judged on your appearance. The more on the outside, the less on the inside – meaning the youth that goes overboard with the hair, tattoos, piercings and clothes on the outside, is trying to make up for what he or she lacks on the inside.
The way you dress affects your behavior. Dress conservatively. It will help when applying for a job. So will not having tattoos and piercings.
The second way you’re judged is how you talk – clearly, politely, intelligently, confidently,without resorting to ‘ya know, ahhh, like I mean, ya know, ahh, know what I’m saying…. ‘
You have a huge advantage with the internet, gps, and cell phones. Computers can make you feel dumb. You’re not. Hang in and you will eventually learn what you can use.
Some adults tell you you can be anything you want. Then you get into something you can’t handle, fail, and you blame yourself. You can’t be anything you want, but you can be more than what you are.
You can avoid poverty if you finish high school, get a full-time job and wait till you’re 21 to get married and have children, according to the Brookings Institute.Don’t ever buy a new car – if you want to save money.
Military
Many young people join to mature – big mistake. While the military offers some unique
experiences, you’ll mature and progress better in the real world.
experiences, you’ll mature and progress better in the real world.
College
– Some people get college degrees and never get a job worth the effort.
– Some colleges keep students for their sports ability. One couldn’t read a menu. Tennis
players can turn pro at age 15. Why not students in other sports? Because colleges don’t
want to lose the money some sports bring in.
– Many students graduate verbose, self-centered, thinking they are objective and have a
monopoly on truth.
– https://timelessissues.com/college-is-not-the-real-world/
– Some colleges keep students for their sports ability. One couldn’t read a menu. Tennis
players can turn pro at age 15. Why not students in other sports? Because colleges don’t
want to lose the money some sports bring in.
– Many students graduate verbose, self-centered, thinking they are objective and have a
monopoly on truth.
– https://timelessissues.com/college-is-not-the-real-world/
Freedom
Between finishing school without huge debt and starting a family you are FREE. It’s a
wonderful, glorious time – a chance to travel, which the Australians call a ‘walkabout’. Germans call it
a ‘wunder year’. Others chase dreams in Hollywood, Nashville, Wash, D.C., New York … There are
those who never had the chance to follow their dreams and wonder for years if they could have made
it. There are those who took the chance, worked hard, failed, but glad they tried. Even those that
succeed often say the best part wasn’t the final success, but the journey. I wouldn’t trade anything for
the 8 years I spent in New York City after college.
wonderful, glorious time – a chance to travel, which the Australians call a ‘walkabout’. Germans call it
a ‘wunder year’. Others chase dreams in Hollywood, Nashville, Wash, D.C., New York … There are
those who never had the chance to follow their dreams and wonder for years if they could have made
it. There are those who took the chance, worked hard, failed, but glad they tried. Even those that
succeed often say the best part wasn’t the final success, but the journey. I wouldn’t trade anything for
the 8 years I spent in New York City after college.
Age 18-25
– The media worshiped the baby boomers, born 1946 – 64, because there were so many.
– ‘Lost generation’ – a silly term.
– The media worshipped Woodstock. Conservative George Will said it was delayed
adolescence, mass immaturity, and sandbox revolution.
– Bruno Bettelheim said hippies’ emotional development was at level of a temper tantrum.
– ‘Lost generation’ – a silly term.
– The media worshipped Woodstock. Conservative George Will said it was delayed
adolescence, mass immaturity, and sandbox revolution.
– Bruno Bettelheim said hippies’ emotional development was at level of a temper tantrum.
– Beware of fads and far out stuff: dowsing, poltergeist, apparitions, fire walking, telepathy,
premonition, reincarnation, channeling, bending silverware, weegie boards, up with people,
moral rearmament, miracles, new age stuff …
– Put aside the naive, blind, forced over-emphasis on positives, feel-good, togetherness,
relationships-mania, everyone being equal in every way, everyone’s a winner, everything’s
‘new’, and other pied piper schemes.
– Hippies and others with a fuzzy, odd appearance usually have fuzzy, odd ideas.
– Don’t put your leaders on a pedestal and believe in them more than you believe in yourself.
They are not better than you and you are not better than them or others.
– Don’t look for a magic person in romance, friendship, work or anything.
– Don’t look for a set of beliefs that claims to have all the answers.
– Some years back 18 yr. olds cried out to lower the voting age to 18. It was lowered and only
30% of them voted.
premonition, reincarnation, channeling, bending silverware, weegie boards, up with people,
moral rearmament, miracles, new age stuff …
– Put aside the naive, blind, forced over-emphasis on positives, feel-good, togetherness,
relationships-mania, everyone being equal in every way, everyone’s a winner, everything’s
‘new’, and other pied piper schemes.
– Hippies and others with a fuzzy, odd appearance usually have fuzzy, odd ideas.
– Don’t put your leaders on a pedestal and believe in them more than you believe in yourself.
They are not better than you and you are not better than them or others.
– Don’t look for a magic person in romance, friendship, work or anything.
– Don’t look for a set of beliefs that claims to have all the answers.
– Some years back 18 yr. olds cried out to lower the voting age to 18. It was lowered and only
30% of them voted.
Idealism, extremism, liberalism, religion
Cults
‘Cults appeal to young people with low self-esteem in their late teens and early 20s when they are forming their identities and are most open to changing their religious outlook. The breakup of a relationship, death of a loved one, etc. leave some vulnerable. They want the 24-hour structure and authority of a cult. It simplifies life. There is sleep deprivation, limiting outside contacts, and a lack of privacy and time for reflection. They give up their worries. They think more of others than themselves. They look to gurus.
‘The philosophy isn’t the main draw. It’s the warmth and enthusiasm of members or the charisma of the leader, acceptance, belonging at the price of their thinking and identity. Leaders become corrupted by power. The majority of members in hi-demand groups leave in year or two.’
[Source unknown]
‘The philosophy isn’t the main draw. It’s the warmth and enthusiasm of members or the charisma of the leader, acceptance, belonging at the price of their thinking and identity. Leaders become corrupted by power. The majority of members in hi-demand groups leave in year or two.’
[Source unknown]
Work
– I read the working class wants to leave school, work and start a family early. They’re less
interested in college and shouldn’t be made to feel they should go.
– Some of you don’t know much about work because of being spoiled and because of minimum
wage, unions, licensing, and ‘child’ labor laws.
– I’ve hired 18 yr. old immigrants who worked circles around American 18 yr. olds.
– If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
– You won't make a lot of money right out of high school.
– Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity, nor are minimum wage or volunteer work.
– The more minimum wage is raised, the fewer jobs for minority youth.
– Many people, even with advanced qualifications, have to settle for work they are not wild
about.
– Sometimes employers hire people on as temporaries so they can see who they want to keep.
interested in college and shouldn’t be made to feel they should go.
– Some of you don’t know much about work because of being spoiled and because of minimum
wage, unions, licensing, and ‘child’ labor laws.
– I’ve hired 18 yr. old immigrants who worked circles around American 18 yr. olds.
– If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
– You won't make a lot of money right out of high school.
– Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity, nor are minimum wage or volunteer work.
– The more minimum wage is raised, the fewer jobs for minority youth.
– Many people, even with advanced qualifications, have to settle for work they are not wild
about.
– Sometimes employers hire people on as temporaries so they can see who they want to keep.
– Many people work for the government for the security.
– The goal for many workers is independence.
– The goal for many workers is independence.
Summary
– You’re at a great age – full of energy, creativity, ideas, and plans.
– You don’t have to figure out everything by age 25.
– You feel you will be trim and fit forever, find a great job, a magic romance, and make tons of
money. Be practical.
– Keep an overview.
– Periodically work on discovering your primary interests.
– You’re limited physically [in sports] and mentally [in school], but not in character – develop
good values.
– Equally important is your mental health – are you angry, alienated, compulsive, spoiled, overly-
generous …. whatever?
– Many parts of life are unfair.
– You’ll be amazed at the failures you‘ll have to endure. They can make or break you.
Many successful people had a lot of failures but learned to benefit from them. PRINCE was a
famous recording artist. Half his projects were failures. Failures are guidelines.
– You will find a huge lack of common sense in most people and every kind of work – especially
government work as it doesn’t have the competition the private sector does.
– Definitely go to reunions – they are good for perspective.
– Someday you’ll be giving advice like this.
Again: my video on all this – Advice to youth 13-25 – YouTube
– You don’t have to figure out everything by age 25.
– You feel you will be trim and fit forever, find a great job, a magic romance, and make tons of
money. Be practical.
– Keep an overview.
– Periodically work on discovering your primary interests.
– You’re limited physically [in sports] and mentally [in school], but not in character – develop
good values.
– Equally important is your mental health – are you angry, alienated, compulsive, spoiled, overly-
generous …. whatever?
– Many parts of life are unfair.
– You’ll be amazed at the failures you‘ll have to endure. They can make or break you.
Many successful people had a lot of failures but learned to benefit from them. PRINCE was a
famous recording artist. Half his projects were failures. Failures are guidelines.
– You will find a huge lack of common sense in most people and every kind of work – especially
government work as it doesn’t have the competition the private sector does.
– Definitely go to reunions – they are good for perspective.
– Someday you’ll be giving advice like this.
Again: my video on all this – Advice to youth 13-25 – YouTube
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Other advice of mine www.generaladvice.org and my free ebook:
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